Further Feedback

How effectively edited is this thriller, give an example of a section of effective editing/ a single cut/ effect that you like and why?;

-Very effective, good fading.
-The titles were slick.
-The bit at the end when the boy was gagged was good - confusing.
-Fading book into trees was good.

Discuss the useof sound in this thriller, both diegetic and non-diegetic. What emotions does it invoke and how effective is it?
- one transition needs improving, (small to big square near end)
-needs some deigetic sound
- flicking lights at end caused tension.
- music upbeat so you stay interested
- when music fits with lights the flashing was effective.

What wrds would you use to describe the visual style?
-creepy
-kind of girly
-i like the shot over table at end
-gag scene
-liked the book idea
-perhaps add more shots of the crazy side of stalker character.

Highlight atleast three things that you think are good about the thriller, and two areas for development of how things could have been done differently.
- gag scene was good- didn't make sense though.
-good transitions
-titles maybe need improving.

Feedback on Final Cut

Can you describe what happens in our thriller?
- kidnap
- a forced date with girl
- torture
- stalker with scrap book

Would you be interested in watching the rest of the film?
- yes if it had less transitions
- Not based on this!

Do you think the tile sequence fits i with the thriller genre, including micro-elements?
- Not particularly, some enigmas, e.g. book
- sort of when the blind fold is used etc.
- not particularly with genre but connections to scrap book
- i like the idea of the names on the pages

Did you enjoy the thriller, what would you change about it?
- the music doesn't create a scary atmosphere
- less transitions
- fix the size of the transitions
- Less of the book, more shots of the field

Which shot would you remove and why?
- less of car and book

What did you think about our editing, what would you improve?
- editing and cuts were good, no need to improve.
- letterbox the footage.

Final Cut

Voice-over poem (sound)

We started off just as friends,
As time went by it felt like more.
This was a love, no limits, no end,
Ever since you walked through my door.
If only you knew how much I loved you,
The things i would have done,
just to hear you say- I love you too.
You were the only one
Why did you have to be so blind?
How could you not have seen me?
The games you played with my mind.
I can't stand knowing we will never be.

I would have done anything.
You were my everything.

(sam will be the voice of the girl saying the poem).

Plan of action feedback

We are going to improve this by using the feedback to use more editing for example use of transitions, adding music into the sequence and getting rid of footage we don't need e.g repetition of shots.

response to feedback

feedback: its just a book
response: the story is about whats in the book

feedback: each shot mores on overtime
response: the shots haven't been cut yet

feedback: made clearer - character wise etc
response: the stalkers identity needs to be secret

feedback: doesn't show the darker side
response: there could be more shots that explain the obsession

feedback: not really a setting
response: there are shots of a setting that haven't been put in yet


.

FeedBack:

Editing:
good editing towards the end, makes it dramatic.
Good build up using editing.
The dark room style is good as well as zooming.

Camera Work
Shaky, could have used a tripod, middle looked good as it creates confusion :)

Sound Suggestions
Basic noise of page turning.
When lights fade go to ominous and tense music.

Mise en Sence
Not really a setting at first, no action.
got potential though.

Narrative
Its just a book, probally each shot works on overtime.
Lack of narrative, but it still makes sence.

Generic Conventions
stalker, mystery, death and threat

Other Feedback
- more build up
- less repetition of same footage
- make clearer (characters)
- make sure editing runs smoothly

start of a poem idea

If only you knew how much I loved you,
The things i would have done,
just to hear you say- I love you too.
You were the only one
Why did you have to be so blind?
How could you not have noticed me?
The games you played with my mind.
I can't stand knowing we will never be.

I would have done anything.

Ideas - layout of book

Page 1.
This will include lots of pictures of friends, a collage of everyone.
These will be friendly.

Page 2-3.
We will be continuing the friends page where there will be pictures of friends together. We are also including post-it notes with comments from the people who own the book.

Page 4-5.
We will include alot of glitter, love hearts, sequins etc.
There will be a picture of ryan in the center where we will write "Omg how cute is he??" there will be another comment underneath saying "i no i love him lol"

Page 6-7.
This is where the book may become a bit obbsessive about scott(Rian)
There will alot of hearts with scott in the middle, love notes about him, and so on....

Page 8.
There will be a poems about scott

Page9.
Obsessive pics of scott, showing the audience we have been watchimnh him.

Page 10.
Scott things we have stolen off him e.g tissues.

Page 11.
Ideas to plot and kill him.. hanging pics, stabbings, overdose.

Page 12.
Picture if him dead

Possible Names

keepsake, souvenir, remember, trophy, chase, jumanji, tome, list, imagine, vision, depict, devotion, romance, attachment, amaranthine, ceaseless, persistent, incessant, vexation, torment


FINAL NAME DECIDED:

MEMORIA- which came up as the italian translation for memories

Love poems possibly for use in the book

THE END OF THE LOVE OF MY LIFE
We knew it was real
This love that we share
You made me feel
Like there was someone to care
Then I made a mistake
That ruined it all
An error to make
A never ending fall
The ground never comes
As we continue to descend
Our hearts have broken into crumbs
And it was me who brought our end
As always, I will continue
To try again and again to break our fall
But you cannot trust me now
Not a little, not at all

LIEZ
I have it cut in my leg...
I have it written on me so that everyone can see you
cheated me and for that my heart can't hardly breathe, you
did me wrong as if are relationship was a stupid love song
but because of you everyone is going to get to know the
real me

Test shots

We have now in our group taken a few tests shots of photos to put in our book. We have taken photos of us following Rian so it looks like he is being staked. We also have tried and taken photos of ways in which we could kill Rian. However in the film his character name will be known as "Scott" We now have photos taken with "Scott" as what appears to be our friendly group, and also photos with us "hanging" around with him and it looks as if a picture is being taken with out our knowlegde, again showing the stalking and obsession.

Teacher Feedback

Your blog is looking good, it has all the key elements required in the blog. I really like your idea, it plays on the key concept of 'The Gaze' and exploring the paranoia of being watched. It is also quite a realistic storyline, a friendship gone wrong.
Make sure you put in the necessary time to make the keepsake book look as good as possible.

Props, Setting and Costume

Props
props we will be using for out thriller opeing seqeunce will be the scrapbook, this is a main feature in our thriller as we won't be doing any acting and out group will be relying alone on this book full of photos to tell the story of the film. Then the photographs will also be used a props stuck into the scrapbook.

For the death of Rian the props we are going to use will be candle tea lights surrounding his dead body, we will also cover his eyes with a scarf belonging to one of the girls.

Costume for our thriller is not designed to any specfic outfits, becuase we entend to only have photographs for the titles we will be talking a lot of photos, and beacuse the book is going to be made over a period of time then it is possbile that we may have to keep changing our coustumes to show that this has happend over a period of time.

Settting
We are going to take our photographs in as many possbile settings as posible, places we may take them could be in the town centre, Long Road and other places around cambridge. When we come to our filming we have not yet set a certain place where we might film the book, but we have some ideas such as in college grounds or prehaps at someone house in a room, where we can dress and change the rooms style to how we want the the setting to be, such as making the room darker.

TITLE IDEAS...

-'keep sakes'
-'keeping the memories alive'
-'the photos we took'
-'picture moments'
-'picture this'

Shot list

Shot 1
Blurred shot coming in from doorway, into a room where the book is on the floor. open to back page

Shot 2
Move in to close up of the books back page.

Shot 3
First picture of rians character murdered on the floor

Shot 4
Goved hand turning pages back - you see pictures/ drawings of planning how rian can be killed

Shot 5
Turn back page to new image of obsessed scribbles of hearts and i love rian slogans/ pictures with his food wrappers etc maybe a few titles

shot 6, 7, 8.....
Turn back pages in simular way showing pictures of people and actions of us with ryan e.g picking up his tissues... maybe a few titles

3rd to last shot
happy friendly pictures of samantha, louise and charlotte with rian and other people all as friends laughing and having fun.

2nd to last shot
flick back page-see titles written eg names of producers etc

final shot
turn to front cover- the title of the film is written on the front.

OUR IDEA

use the book to write our titles in- the book is our titles, the pictures get more and more violent, possibly an end picture of rian dead.

New and final idea

STALKING

example of stalking


Our idea

General plot

Guy- rian, being stalked by 3 girls- charlotte, louise and samantha. Ultimate goal is to kill him.
We act as his friends- he doesn't know who is plotting to kill him starts off we are just obsessed and infatuated with him then when he doesn't notice us as more than friends we get angry.

characters meet for first time with images of stalking book beeing shown- like previews of what will happen.

What lies beneath